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Is this hilarious, pitiful or both?

The new cover of Life & Style pretty much speaks for itself.

The situation, as reported, is that Britney is convinced that Kevin Federline is smoking pot around the kids. She says they reek of pot when she picks them up. To make her case in court, Britney is going to be (or has already?) snipped locks of the boys' hair to have it analyzed.

You'd think they would want to keep this stuff between the two of them, no?

I'm quickly realizing how many jobs hinge on the insanity of the Spears clan.

Labels: Britney Spears, Kevin Federline

Jennifer HOpez is a fat cow.

Lopez, 39, is finallly pregnant and what does she do? She bitches and moans she's too fat, too soon.

Expect to see less of La Lopez as time goes by, because she plans to hibernate until she gives birth.

But no one really cares because everything she has done in the past several years has been a total flop.

The end.

Oh Britney.

Maybe the warmth of the holiday season is melting my icy disposition, but I feel kind of bad for Britney. Now that her 16-year old sister, Jamie Lynn, announced that she's knocked up, the world is really convinced that their family is trashy.

Yes, the family is from a place called Kentwood, Louisiana, which, in the minds of most cosmopolitan Americans, already makes them trashy. True, Britney doesn't particularly ooze class, but I've always felt that she was more dazed and confused than trashy.

Look at this picture; doesn't she look like she needs a hug?

Labels: Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears

Jamie Lynn Spears steals her sister's spotlight!

Jamie Lynn Spears at age 16 is pregnant, and she's keepin' the baby.
She and boyfriend Casey Aldridge plan on raising the baby in their native Kentwood, Louisiana, but let's face it, poor ol' mama Lynne Spears will end up raising the tot.
Jamie Lynn came clean and spilled the beans to OK! magazine, likely because some other scandal rag was hot on the pregnancy trail.
We have to give Jamie Lynn props in one way, she actually stole the spotlight away from her big sister!

Labels: Britney Spears, Casey Aldridge, Jamie Lynn Spears, pregnant

Amy Winehouse arrested

Amy Winehouse a pervert?
Not quite, but the troubled 24-year old singer is being formally accused of "perverting the course of justice" in her husband Blake Fielder-Civil's bribery case.
Amy was taken into custody on Tuesday, December 18, at 5 pm, by the Shoreditch Police Station.
We told you earlier that British investigators were hot on the money trail to find out who had provided Blake with the $200,000 that was used to bribe a bar man into dropping assault charges against him.
They wondered how someone like Blake could come up with that kind of cash?
Looks like they found out!

Labels: Amy Winehouse, arrested, Blake Fielder-Civil

Rachel Ray is yummo

Rachael Ray causes split personality disorder. She drives me nuts with her catch phrases ("yummo," "EVOO"), for which I should hate her, but I love her so much it almost hurts (mostly for being two-faced).

Anyway, another entity that loves Rachael Ray is the Food Network. The company that owes its vitality to the saccharine sweetheart has agreed to give her another show called "Rachael's Vacation." Basically, she'll travel around the world in absolute luxury and try amazing food for free. She'll probably attend the obligatory tango show in Buenos Aires, stand in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Then she'll swallow an empanada and a croissant and fake the mouthgasm. The end.

Labels: Rachael Ray

Monkeys!

When Scott Caan and Vincent D'Onofrio met up for lunch in Beverly Hills, the world fell silent. Just joking; nobody cared. Except for me. I can't profess to like either one very much, but they make such a great duo in photographs.

While Scott Caan showed up on his bike (check out the main page for photos), Vincent appeared without much ado and sat next to (instead of across from) his friend at the table.

Best of luck to the happy couple.

Labels: Scott Caan, Vincent D'Onofrio

The mystery that is Pam Anderson

We love Pam Anderson, she's one of the few celebrities that you see actually with her kids, raising them, no nannies, at soccer practice, bike riding right along side, you name it, there' s Pam.
But when it comes to her relationships, she's not as committed.
We've been doing this celebrity gig long enough to know that Pam has romance A.D.D., she's addicted to that first rush of attraction that comes and as soon as it's gone -- so is Pam.
Today she filed for divorce from husband #3, Rick Salomon, a poker-playing, sex tape making guy, who she once referred lovingly to as "scum" on her official website.
Only two months in, and Pam wanted out, or did she?
Almost as soon as she filed, she cryptically posted on her site, "PS: We're working things out. "
How long do we give this marriage from its temporary stay of execution from the governor?
About a week.

Labels: divorce, marriage, Pam Anderson, Rick Salomon

Paparazzi photo of Santa Claus

Wonder if Santa thinks Jenna Jameson has been naughty or nice?

Labels: Jenna Jameson, Santa Claus

He is legend!

Will Smith had the best December opening of a movie ever, raking in $76.5 million, with the Warner Brothers last man on earth drama I Am Legend.
It's also a personal best for Smith, 39.
He beat the December opening sales record of 2003's Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, which took in 72.6 million.
Guess that's why they call him "Big Willie!"

Labels: I Am Legend, Will Smith

Amy Winehouse to be questioned by cops

Amy Winehouse is being implicated in her husband Blake Fielder-Civil's bribery case, and investigators in the UK are set to interview her this coming week.
Seems Blake, who beat up a bar man earlier this year, tried to bribe the poor sap into dropping the assault charges in exchange for $200,000 and an all expense paid holiday.
But the guy snitched Blake out, and he was thrown in the slammer, and is now awaiting trial.
Amy had her cell phone records confiscated, banking info and computer hard drive taken, in connection with the investigation.
Why?
Seems Blake has no income to speak of, and the only place he could have come up with $200,000 would be through his troubled wife.

Labels: Amy Winehouse, Blake Fielder-Civil, bribery, investigation

Britney not happy with her third home

Britney Spears spends more time at the Four Seasons than she does at her Beverly Hills or Malibu homes.
That's why she was surprised that the swanky 90210 hotel turned her away at the parking area on December 14, when she arrived for dinner with her assistant.
The paparazzi photographers were more outraged than Brit herself, yelling into the lot speaker device, "It's Britney Spears! Let her in!"
Maybe it was the fact that she was in her white Mini Cooper, and not her Mercedes that threw the hotel staff off, or maybe they really just didn't want her there.
Either way, Britney left in a huff, "This hotel is old anyway. Party at my house!"

Labels: Britney Spears, Four Seasons

Lindsay phones in to Las Vegas radio station

Lindsay Lohan wanted to score Hannah Montana tickets for her friend's nieces, so she fell right into the trap of Mix 94.1 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
The station had a contest to see who could get a celebrity to phone in, and they would win the coveted tickets.
On Friday, December 14, Lindsay revealed on air that she's "a different person now," than she was pre-rehab number 3, saying, "It was time to grow up."
She wouldn't talk about her love life, saying, "I don't kiss and tell," but Celebrity Babylon was able to EXCLUSIVELY reveal that she's dating Spencer Guilburt, 24, an artist and clothing designer.
Our favorite revelation? That Lindsay, 21, wants to do a humanitarian mission in Africa, "I really love children, and it would be nice to give back."
We'll see how that last one goes...

Labels: Lindsay Lohan, Spencer Guilburt

Power baby: Shiloh Jolie Pitt!

Forbes magazine just released its list of the most influential infants in the world for 2007, and no shocker here, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt came in number one!
The list is based on the amount of exposure the 19-month old received in the media in the last year.
Shiloh, the only biological child of Angelina Jolie, 32, and Brad Pitt, 43, beat out Suri Cruise who came in second, Shiloh's big sister Zahara, 2, who came in third, Sean Preston Federline, 2, who was fourth, and Shiloh's big brother Pax, 4, who was fifth.

Labels: Forbes, Pax, power, Sean Preston, Shiloh Pitt, Suri Cruise, Zahara

Paris Hilton gets canned

For whatever reason, the media has decided to be benevolent with Paris Hilton. Fine, but I'm a little bit disgusted that there hasn't been more of a backlash against her new line of what the media has called "champagne." The beverage is in fact (admittedly) Prosecco, a sparkling white wine. I guess "sparkling white wine in a can" doesn't have the same ring to it, though.

I have two issues with this endeavor:

Firstly, unless you're drinking beer, alcohol should not be served in a can. Unless this is going to be marketed as a wine cooler specially formulated for Germany's trailer parks, this has no business existing.

Secondly, like Paris Hilton really drinks anything out of a can, anyway. This is on par with having Dog the Bounty Hunter as a spokesman for the NAACP or Dior. The worlds are just incompatible.

I hear that she'll be the spokeswoman for Pabst Blue Ribbon next.

Labels: Paris Hilton

The worst week ever for the Housewives!

It wasn't a good week for the cast members of ABC's Desperate Housewives.
First off, none of the women were nominated for a Golden Globe, the first time ever in its three seasons.
Then of course you had the cheating scandal of Eva Longoria's hubby Tony Parker, where by he supposedly met a French model/actress at his July wedding, and embarked on a steamy affair.
Marcia Cross was surprised to find that her nude photos that first emerged back in November of 2006, were back in a big way, this time hitting the web.
Of course Nicollette Sheridan loved being called a wicked she-devil by her ex fiance Niklas Soderblum, and she really got a thrill when she heard the tell-all was about to hit the US and UK markets.
Teri Hatcher is smarting from her $2.4 million breach of contract lawsuit by the Hydroderm company, who said that she was endorsing their rival's lip-plumping product.
Only Felicity Huffman has escaped unscathed...but the week really isn't over yet!

Labels: Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman, Marcia Cross, Nicollette Sheridan, Teri Hatcher

File this under another wacky Paula story!

We can never get enough of wacky Paula Abdul stories, and this one's a hum-dinger!
Paula says she had a fan that was so obsessed with her, he swiped her urine sample from her gynecologist's office!
"This is really embarrassing," admitted the red-faced Dr who had to confront Paula about her missing sample, "but a man who works here is your biggest fan and he stole it."
Can't you hear her fellow American Idol judge Simon Cowell cackling right now with laughter?
But you gotta love our Paula, 45, who said, "Needless to say he got fired. In hind sight it's a funny story."

Labels: gynecologist, Paula Abdul, wacky

Career to Jessica Simpson: Byyyye!

Jessica Simpson is nuts. Since she and Nick Lachey did the world a favor by splitting up before they could breed, she's been running around looking for attention from guys. Unfortunately, nobody's really paying attention to her career. Her newest movie, Blonde Ambition, sucks so hard, it's going straight to DVD. Oops.

Somebody really ought to tell her that she never would have been famous if her attention monger of a father hadn't shoved her and her rack in front of America. Sure, she's pretty, but she doesn't have much of a personality and her singing is not dissimilar to a the sound of a lumberjack getting a prostate exam.

She had better be careful before she ends up on the Hollywood graveyard that is Dancing with the Stars.

Labels: Jessica Simpson

Rachel Ray will eat your face

I love Rachel Ray. Her show is unimpressive, but her selling point is her smile. She has really sweet, down-to-earth charm, but she's not fooling me; she could gut a human faster than a fish if she wanted to.

The media has given her a lot of attention, mostly for her allegedly unfaithful husband. It's obviously a lie, since she would have julienned his ass already if it were true. I don't really care about that, though; I more impressed with the fact that the Food Network personality has made close to a quarter of a billion dollars faking nice.

Here's Rachel signing her newest book for which she earned nearly one trillion dollars.

Labels: Rachael Ray